Eleven (11) Common Lies from Bad Girls

Some girls are fun to be with, but some goes beyond just love as guys understand the culture of dating in Lagos, but these revealed top 11 lies their girls tell them, will help them up their game.

 
1. I have a boyfriend but he is not in this country: 
This is a common lie Lagos ladies like to tell always. While that may be true, it is mostly going to be a lie if you truly check. Lagos ladies tell the lies to make you back off or for you to know they are connected with a guy abroad in which case it has become a status symbol

2. The lecturer called me but I didn’t go to see him: 
Well, that is an absolute lie. Lecturers are demi-gods in our universities. When they send for female students, it is always for a reason. She probably wants you to believe she has not had any dealings with a lecturer.


3. I am not bleaching my skin, we are naturally light in my family: 
While this may be true, many girls in Lagos are bleaching their skin.


4. I am on my period: 
If a girl visits a guy and its time to get down, be sure the girl will come at the guy with the red flag excuse.


5. I went to visit a guy and he gave me 100k: 
Lagos girls like to prize themselves for the highest bidder. When a girl tells you this, it means you have to buckle up and be prepared to spend the naira.


6. I don’t love guys because of their money: 
Don’t be deceived. She is playing the good girl to enter your heart. Once she has your attention, she will come for the kill.
 
7. He is just a friend: 
Well, the other guy is not her enemy either. But remember male friends can do what a normal guy can do a girl.


8. I love you too: 
Well, love is relative. She may love you for anything.
 
9. I will call you: 
No she won’t, she will flash you.
 
10. I don’t eat much: 
Lagos girls like food. Don’t be deceived

11. Having sex:
No man has ever make me feel like this you are the first ever.

A woman that will waste ur time when you are ready

It’s an amazing feeling to be in love with someone. But sometimes we may be in a devastating relationship with people who will end up wasting our time. Find a list of those kinds of people.
 
Few things are more frustrating than coming across someone you could have had a spark with, only to find out that they’re just wasting your time.
We’re all very busy nowadays, and between work, socializing, keeping fit, and relaxing, we barely have the time to date. This makes it extremely frustrating when someone we are interested in is wasting our time. Luckily, when you know what to look for, it is quite easy to identify and avoid potential time wasters.
You need to have an abundance mindset – realize that the girl who is wasting your time is not ever going to be the one, and that you should move on as soon as possible to meet other girls who are potentially a better fit. Clichéd as it may sound, there are other women out there who won’t end up wasting your precious time.
No idea what types of women will only end up frustrating you? Here are the top 7 types, along with ways to avoid them.


1 She’s just not that into you. There is nothing worse than falling for a girl who is just not interested in you. She might be a friend, a colleague, or someone from your past. This is usually the case, leading to you coming into consistent contact with each other. Seeing her regularly keeps the feelings fresh and makes it impossible to forget about her.
Really, the best thing to do is avoid her and cut contact for a period, at least until you have met someone else or you have completely done away with whatever feelings you have for her. If you’re colleagues or close friends, it might not be possible to avoid her altogether, but you should keep things professional or friendly for a while, and focus your energy on meeting other women.
Meeting someone else is the best way to get over her and is also, funnily enough, the thing that is most likely to make her like you, since other women liking you can instantly make you desirable in her eyes.
Reality is rarely like a rom-com, and trying to woo her when she is initially not interested is unlikely to get you anywhere, especially if she rebuffs your advances by saying…


2 “Let’s just be friends” or LJBF. The classic line that women will say to let a guy down gently. She might give reasons, such as the fact that she isn’t looking for a relationship or she doesn’t want to ruin what you already have as friends. Recognize now that these are justifications to spare your feelings. It is her being nice and not telling you that she just isn’t interested.
The same applies as in #1. If she says LJBF, that is the end of the line for trying to seduce her. You are not Hugh Grant, and, again, the rom-com plot hardly works in real life. Maintain your relationship with her as it currently is if you wish – especially if you are genuinely already friends – but move on to pursuing other women. You will get over her when you meet someone else that you like and who likes you back.
Once you have been “friend zoned,” it is nigh on impossible to get out of it. She doesn’t view you as a potential romantic partner, and you should move on as quickly as possible to avoid putting yourself through a fruitless emotional rollercoaster.


3 She’s still into her ex.  This isn’t your fault, and there really isn’t a whole lot you can do about it. If she can’t get over her ex, perhaps she is still in love with him and maybe even continuing to sleep with him, then she will not give herself to you.
When her emotions are elsewhere, you will never connect on a deeper level. You might be able to have a fling or a rebound relationship with her, and if you choose to pursue that, it is your prerogative. However, keep in mind that you may not progress any further.
In time, when she has allowed herself to truly get over her ex, she may realize that she can learn to want you after all. Don’t try to force it, though. Either keep things casual between you or give her some time, and revisit the idea later down the line to see how she responds.


4 She’s always “busy.” If she has blown you off three times with excuses about being busy, she is probably just stringing you along. Chances are, she only sees you as a guy whom she can have at her beck and call whenever she feels like getting some attention or validation.
She might promise to make it up to you or she might show her remorse, but if all she has to offer you are excuses and apologies, then you’re better off not seeing her. What you can do, however, is try to turn the tables by being unavailable.
The next time she blows you off, avoid her for a week or two. It might give her enough time to realize that she misses you or that she actually likes you. But if she’s still as elusive as ever, there’s really no point in staying in touch with someone who can’t be bothered to invest some time in you.


5 The text buddy. We spend all day staring at our phones, and women especially love to text and chat all the time. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of becoming text buddies. You think you’re “getting to know each other” but really, communication through technology is no replacement for talking in real life.
You want to maintain an air of mystery and give her reasons to want to actually meet you and get to know who you are for real. So baring it all through text will only make her lose interest very quickly.
Text a bit less than she does, send shorter messages, and don’t be scared to cut a conversation off or not reply until the next day. Women love a guy who makes them chase him a bit, so don’t come  across as too keen – otherwise, you end up being her validation at the other end of the phone and never get to see her in reality.


6 The gold digger. We’ve all heard of gold diggers, and maybe you’ve met some, especially if you are financially well off. Do not become the guy who pays for everything and gets nothing for it.
Whether you pay for everything on dates or not is up to you, and doing so doesn’t in any way make her a gold digger. What does make her a gold digger, is when she doesn’t show any interest in you, rebuffs your advances, and still wants you to buy her things or take her to places without the relationship moving forward over time.
It is faulty logic to think that if she isn’t in to you now, you need to throw more things or money at her. It won’t make her like you more, but she may well like the money and string it along for as long as she can.
If a girl isn’t into you when you take her for a picnic in the park, she won’t be into you when you take her 5-star dining, either.


7 The flake. You’ve made plans, and she flakes on you at the last minute by making excuses or worse, not even showing up. Sometimes, emergencies happen, of course, but she will be apologetic if it is with a genuine reason. If she has flaked on you more than once, she is probably not really into you, and she’s just keeping you around as her backup plan.
Seriously, if a woman flakes out on you when you’ve already tried your patent best to ensure that she’ll have a great time with you, you’re better off exerting the same amount of effort on a woman who can appreciate what you’re willing to do for her.
Despite the initial feeling that she may be wasting your time, you can still try a few techniques to get her to appreciate you more. But if that doesn’t happen, remember that there are billions of women out there. The one who keeps wasting your time is not the one you are meant to be with.

Five Things That Keep Girls Still Single

Single ladies who build a shell around themselves for a long time may make men see them as a no-go area. This is because it does not take men a long time to back out of a relationship which is time wasting.



The end result of any faithful relationship should be conjugal bliss. It is not too good if a relationship starts on a promising note, but later hits the rock. Although, both parties could be at fault, but the men these days are fuming that some single ladies do not have any attribute of being a wife. Some of the reasons below are some of the things men discuss among themselves.

1. I’m in a relationship It is rather funny to hear more than 70% of Nigerian single ladies say they are in a relationship when a man meets them for the first time. If a man meets a woman through the different social media chatting rooms or online dating sites, she could indicate there that she is single. However, the story changes when a man asks her to further confirm her relationship status.

The next thing she says is that, she has a man in her life. This is rather absurd! The question men who are searching for wife do ask is, where are the single ladies who are looking for husbands? A true life situation is the story of a man who showed so much interest in a woman about three years ago. The woman rebuffed him initially, but later gave out her phone number.

When the man asked her out, she willingly agreed. The relationship continued in this way for six months. Both man and woman exchanged chats, calls and gifts. However, when the man asked if she was ready for marriage after the seventh month of them being together, she said she was in a relationship.

The man later asked her severally if she was sure she was indeed in a relationship. She reiterated her initial statement that she was in a relationship.

The man told her he had no choice than to leave her. After a few months of leaving the lady, the man met another lady who was ready for marriage. Both the man and the new lady got married in little or no time of knowing each other.
The man after his second wedding anniversary was surprised to see a strange text message from a female folk, stating if they could re-new their relationship.

The man called the number as he had deleted the former lady’s number when they parted ways.

She was overtly surprised that it was the same lady who said she was in a relationship when he met her three years ago. The man had to tell her he was two years old in his marriage. He told the lady to look elsewhere.

He reminded her of all what transpired between both of them when they were in their pseudo-relationship.

2. I’m not yet ready for marital challenges Even, a single lady who graduated from the university or polytechnic, who is close to 30 years old, still believes she has to join the Nigerian labour market first.

She believes the most important thing to her is to not to use her critical thinking and intuition to remove herself from singlehood. She thinks it is employment or nothing else.

Men are tired of all these.

When these single ladies are fortunate to get the job they want, they are entangled in the job as men see them as old cargoes even if they have all the money in the world.

Men will not want to marry them anymore.

3. We don’t need to see each other, lets chat The craze for chatting at almost all the time of the day by some ladies is worrisome. Ladies are more guilty of this practice.

It is a common thing to see some single ladies chat inside commercial vehicles or on okada, or even when they are walking along a busy road.

The headache of men is when they want to see these single ladies for a one on one talk. Men may be surprised to hear these single ladies tell them, they should chat over the phone. Men continue to wonder for how long they will continue to chat with a woman they feel they should marry.

The proliferation of social media and online chatting rooms have done so much damaging effects on single ladies. These ladies can not control their lust for these unneeded social media chatting rooms.

A particular single lady could be on at least 10 different social media chatting channels, interacting with various men and enjoying the fantasy of chatting.

4. I can’t settle for less Life starts from somewhere. Rome was not built in a day. A singe lady, who wants a man to do almost everything she wants must really be dreaming.

The more she asks a man to buy the things she desires before marriage, the less the possibility that such a man will marry her. All responsible men do not want to live above their means of livelihood, They have no choice than to leave these women who show they belong to the highest rung of societal ladder.

5. I can’t let any man push me around Women liberalisation and women emancipation have been used to confuse women more and more.

About fifty years ago in Nigeria, it was easier for a single lady to get a responsible man as husband. But these days, single women are often depressed.

They do say husbands have become scarce commodities. Everyone is blaming the other for his or her problem. In Nigerian cultures, a man should be in charge.

However, the present set of young ladies believe, they should be in charge. This is one of the major causes of the high rate of divorce presently. No single lady wants to see the man as her landlord.

Tupac Shakur’s mum is getting divorce

According to TMZ, Tupac Shakur’s mum is getting divorced and her husband wants half of that Tupac money.
Read report below..

Afeni Shakur filed for divorce against Gust Davis, her husband of 12 years. For some reason we’re told the couple doesn’t have a prenup.

Afeni filed in North Carolina, where judges are not required to divide property 50/50, but rather on a case-by-case basis to determine what’s fair.
They have lots of property and he wants, among other things, the right to live on their 50 acre North Carolina ranch and wants the keys to the houseboats. Gust, who’s a minister, also wants to keep his sweet Jag.

Gust also wants alimony. We’re told the Tupac Estate rakes in around $900k a year, but according to Gust, after expenses Afeni gets around $20k a month. We’re told he wants $10k a month for the rest of his life.

As for Afeni, she’s been separated from Gust for a little more than a year. She’s currently living on a houseboat in Sausalito, CA.

Afeni has filed legal docs asking the judge to shut down Gust’s alimony request.

Your Dress Code Can Make Him Cheat

Sometimes i really wonder why some women think getting married is just to change status and bear children, after all that their mode of dressing out or even when at home becomes something else because they think it does not really count any more, forgetting the fact that men are always boys.

  

  I was discussing with a client sometimes ago and she complained that she thinks her husband was cheating on her and he has changed totally because he use to play with her a lot and he make love to her anywhere in the house before they got married and she really hoped all that was going to continue but now he hardly touched her or even feel her. That is because something went wrong, some women mostly in Africa changes their dress code simply because they are married and they think looking hot makes them look irresponsible.  

      

Take a look at the picture above and what do you think he is smiling at when she is not even talking to him. What signal do you think your husband will get when he comes back from work and says “Honey am home” and you are like “Am in the kitchen boo boo” dressed like the picture below.

   That’s what am talking about, keeping him on track always making him feel like in the mood and not just baby factory or always on wrappers and looking like some old woman from the block. Anytime he is home, get those bomb shorts, micro minis and short gowns, so that he can always see that woman he fell in love with… 

Ten Crazy Girls You Wont Consider For Marriage

1. The Chatterbox
This is the woman who never shuts up, barely stopping to breathe. Seemingly only concerned about what is going on in her life, she always has to make a comment about everything and dominates conversations.

2. The Desperate Chick
This type of woman will seem fantastic at first, until she starts talking about your wedding location, how many kids she wants and the name of your future dog–right after the first date! When a woman advances WAY faster than normal,watch out. She NEEDS a man so bad that she’s willing to put anybody in that slot, even the homeless guy on the corner.

3. The Overly-Critical Woman
Anything you do for this type of woman is simply not good enough. Nothing seems to work unless it is done according to her standards. Anything that is said by anyone will be quickly taken out of context to become some sort of insult or some reason to wage war against the world. This type of woman has plenty of emotional baggage and will make you an angry and bitter person as there will be nothing but misery with her.

4. The Bimbo
This type of woman can’t obtain a GED but has managed to secure a PhD in the science of the bedroom. This is an intellectually challenged woman who looks great but, in all honesty, shouldn’t open her mouth. Her skills are unquestionably only rooted in the physical realm and unless you’re just after one-night stands, you do not want to bring a silly girl home to meet Mom and Dad. The majority of girls you see on the streets everyday fall into this category.

5. The High Maintenance Chick
If this type of woman breaks a nail, she expects you to drop everything you’re doing to drive her to the salon immediately. Her daddy always told her she was a princess and she expects to be treated like one at all times. She has expensive taste and expects you to shower her with only the best things and take her out to posh places on a regular basis. If you don’t have a lot of money and a penchant for luxury, don’t even bother.

6. The Clingy Girl
This woman is a nuisance who can’t go anywhere or do anything without the company of her man. She’ll adopt your interests, calls 20 times a day and fly off the handle anytime she’s not around to monitor your behavior. This type of woman will smother any chance of you missing her by insisting that you spend every waking moment with her, refusing to let you go out with the boys or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else.

7. The Baby’s Mama
This woman has a great physique, great personality and her toes are pretty too! There’s only one problem–she’s got a pretty large amount of children with assorted “baby-daddy’s”, and when women like this get desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be “daddy.” This woman got knocked up by somebody that she was supposedly in love with, and not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guys that are “jerks” now are the same guys she once thought the world of and had unprotected s.ex with.

8. The Gold Digger
The Gold-Digger will compliment you on your expensive watch, ask you what kind of car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live and so on. Like the high maintenance woman, the Gold Digger is basically looking for a sugar daddy, she’ll size you up within the first five minutes and drop you just as quickly if your cash flow runs out and you can’t take her shopping anymore. These types of women will just suck your wallet dry and leave you emasculated. Fortunately,you can usually see this type coming from a mile away. She wants to write out the names of all her designer items and post it on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

9. The Club Girl
Club girls are nothing more than fantasy women who have been practically living in bars and clubs since they hit the legal drinking age. They have beautiful faces with full lips, big doe eyes, great legs, and all the curves you could ever ask for. The problem in dating these women is that they love to wear clothes that show off their great assets not just to you, but to every Tom, man-hood and Harry on the street. A woman like this may be carefree and wild; however, once you take a closer look, you’ll realize that her entire life is a party and most nights will end with her puking in your car. Or waking up hungover, in some guy’s bed in the morning.

10. The Feminist
This type of woman can never be pleased by a man and she believes that men are the cause of all the pains and suffering of society. It is her strong belief that women are much more intelligent than men and are capable of doing things “the right way”. You don’t want to waste any time with this type of woman because anything that you do willalways be negative to her.

Seven red flags to look in your relationship

Relationships take a significant amount of work and effort to survive long-term. For many people, it can be easy to allow their busy schedules and other priorities to impact the bond that they share with their partner. When evaluating your relationship, there may be a few red flags to look for to determine if you need to put more effort into your relationship.

1. A Lack of Trust

Some people may find it difficult to trust their spouse due to pain that has been experienced in the past. This can make it challenging to become closer to their significant other and have a strong foundation. It’s important to increase communication and develop the trust over time to ensure that the relationship can begin to thrive again without fear that is present.

2. Boredom

It can be easy to enter into a relationship when there are fireworks and chemistry. Unfortunately, the honeymoon stage can die off due to too much routine in the relationship. Make it a point to go on a date each week, try new activities together, and discuss your dreams for an ideal way to liven up the relationship.

3. Constant Fighting

If you’re fighting with your partner throughout the week, it’s a sign that there are deeper issues that need to be worked on to reach a place of harmony again. Consider seeking professional help to discuss problems that continue to be brought up and how you can work with them peacefully.

4. Blow-Ups

According to you or your partner may be prone to freaking out due to anxiety, stress, or anger. If someone in the relationship suffers from blow-ups, it’s time to begin walking away when the emotions begin to arise and give yourself 10 to 15 minutes to cool off before moving forward.

5. Controlling Behavior

Both men and women are prone to controlling behavior in their relationships, which is often caused by jealousy or fear. Although some people may succumb to the control, it’s important to stand up for yourself and remain independent in the relationship. This can easily cause a wedge between you and your family or friends if you’re always at the mercy of your partner.

6. Insecurity in the Relationship

One or both of the partners in a relationship may be insecure, which can be due to a lack of self-confidence with physical appearance or with what they can offer emotionally to their partner. It’s important that each partner encourages one another and communicates what they appreciate about the other person for increased security together and a stronger level of trust.

7. Co-dependency

According to many people assume that they have a healthy relationship with their spouse if they’re co-dependent of one another and need to be needed. One or both of the partners may find it difficult to do activities or have other relationships outside of their bond with their significant other. They may also only be happy when they’re with their partner and may be dependent on them for their emotional needs and security. It’s important that anyone in the relationship who struggles with co-dependency begins working on themselves as an individual and avoids placing their happiness in the hands of their partner.

Sex Thing With Relationship

Sex, since the history of man or human evolution has gone through several changes, even in terms of definition and form and the individuals engaging in it. Once upon a time, sex was thought to be primarily for reproductive reasons, then for the relief of sexual tension and later, for the sexual pleasure. Right from the explosive documentation of the Kama Sutra, various studies and experiences have been carried out by persons and institutions to unravel the mystery of human sexology and why, besides procreation, sex is important to mortal men and women. From the researches of Alfred Kinsey who is regarded as the father of sexology in the 40s and 50s to Masters and Johnson’s famous researches on orgasms of the 60s and 70s, sex has become a subject of great interest to all. Now, a research conducted by psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss on why women have sex which is published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, the duo in their new book of the same title, have listed 237 reasons why women have sex with their partners. Ranging from the mundane desires to experience physical pleasure; to the vengeful intentions of getting back at a cheating partner, the spiritual attempt to get closer to God, or the altruistic gesture of wanting a partner to feel good about themselves, Meston and Buss concluded that the motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number than what most people think and psychologically complex in nature too. Some of the reasons listed are quite glaring and practiced across societies and persons at various times, regardless of their marital status too. In fact, marital sex as well as long term relationships tend to be more complex than those in newer or non-commitment relationships. Just as a married woman may have a legion of reasons for not wanting to have sex, she just might have another gazillion on why she must have sex. The most important and common reason being “duty sex”. Once married, it is assumed that providing sexual pleasure to her partner is a given. She must fulfill her own side of the bargain to keep the union. To some other women, it is the price for the status and benefits. In this case, it has nothing to do with her own sexual pleasures or preference and more about submission, ditto the man. Many women also believe that the more sex they have with their partners, the less chances he is likely to stray. Women assume that the more sex he gets with them, the less chances he is likely to think about sex outside the box, much less look for it. While good communication channel and a strong sexual connection may have been identified as important keys to a good relationship, hardly has having sex with a partner on demand been known to keep a person from straying into the thighs of another individual. Some women also believe that sex and children are the perfect ways to keep their men. Women dubiously believe that the more children and responsibility they throw at their husbands, the less likely they are to walk away from them. So, where they have agreed on two children, these women, on their own volition, manipulate or “accidentally” go on to have more children. This hardly works in some cases. You can only keep a man down for as long as he wants to stay down. I intend to write more about this complex situation in subsequent editions. Let’s just go through some reasons I found quite interesting in this book which I have practical examples for: Pity sex: Women may sometimes give in to sex for this simple reason, after all, we are women with maternal instincts. Some of the women in the book confessed to have had sex with men just because they felt sorry for them. According to one, she had been dating a guy over two years and he had been pleading with her all through. One day, she said she took pity on him and agreed. However, he was out of the door as soon as he could pull his pants up. A similar scenario happened to one of the young girls I counsel. She’d been dating the guy for quite some time, and though she’d told him she was no virgin, she’d however decided to go celibate until she was married. The guy had gone on to systematically work on her emotions and soon, broke her down. She said the day she agreed to have sex with him, he had prostrated flat on his stomach, swearing heaven on earth. What kind of desperation is that? However, what happened after the act, almost robbed her of her education as she did not want to return to school. She said immediately it was over, he jumped up and punched the air with his fist, asking if that was all that she had to offer and that he’d had better lays. He went on to tell her that he had only been acting out a script and never loved her. In fact, he and a couple of guys already placed a bet on her and though she had tried, he had won eventually. To make matters worse, he had ordered her out of his room. She said she ran away from school and several days was even scared to pick her calls or check the social media as she feared that he had recorded their activities and might post it on the internet. Eventually, he had come to apologise but the damage had already been done. Sex for pity’s sake almost always turn out to leave a sour taste in the mouth as you can never be sure of the other person’s motives. Have sex because you want to and not because you feel pressured to, or are sorry for the guy. That way, should things go sour, you can hold your head up, look the a- – in the eye and say “f..k off, you fall me, I fall you, no big deal!” Marriage sex: This is very different from marital sex. This is simply sex to negotiate for marriage. Some ladies believe that having sex with a guy will provide them the opportunity to show the guys and convince them that they are good and suitable for each other. To add insult to injury, some of these ladies are prepared to play little housewife roles, they go over to the guy’s apartments for chores and even wash their dirty under wears and clothes. Some even cook with their own money to convince the guys that they can support the union financially too. My little sister gave me a gist about one of her friends who played house help for someone she called her fiancé for almost four years, refusing to heed everyone’s warning. As suspected, her generosity and selfless acts did not succeed at the negotiation table as the guy sprung the most unexpected surprise. He married the daughter of his neighbour and co-tenant, the little girl that had been calling his fiancée “aunty” and often came to the apartment to play with her when the guy was not around! My bet is that she had even run errands between the lovers and had benefited from the older lady’s generosity too. Eventually, they both betrayed her, her goodness did not help, neither her assumed sexual prowess. Trade by barter sex: Just as the phrase imply, this is when you use what you have to get what you want. The first thing that comes to mind here is prostitution, that age old trade of using the body for financial benefits. The activities of the prostitution are a multi-million dollar investment worldwide with tentacles in drugs, violent crimes, human trafficking and many other vices. Interestingly, the average prostitute in many climes no longer enjoys the liberty of dealing her wares as a one man (sorry, woman) enterprise or sole trader to any interested client today. To carry on business as usual, she needs protection and this she invests in with the proceeds from her business as well as sex. Again, a drug addict or junkie will exchange sex for drugs naturally and when caught in a tight corner, many women have been known to exchange sex for their freedom. Negotiation sex: If the above seem rather on the dark side, let’s bring it down to base. Many things have been written about the power of the female anatomy. I mean, bottom power! Many men, both high and lowly have been known to succumb to the aura of this potent natural endowment. Many women have perfected the art of using their gifts from mother nature to get what they want through intense manipulation and negotiation. Sex is thus used by women to curry favour, to get jobs, promotions, or even maintain status as the case might be. A friend once told me the trick she uses to get anything she wants from her boyfriend. According to her, he is one of those shy types who can hardly express his thoughts or views on issues, let alone approach women. So, he considers himself very lucky to have found her and perhaps cannot trade the opportunity of the occasional sex for anything. (not yet, at least). So, for her, most times, She engages in sex to get him to do stuff for her. Her crude method even involves stopping in the middle of the act to get him to agree to her demand. And the poor thing just crumbles like a pack of cards. Revenge sex: This is common with women who have been hurt and who want to get their pound of flesh. Often, a wife might cheat on her cheating husband just to get back at him and probably make him feel the way she felt. It could also be to get back at a partner who has neglected them. Again, she might have sex to reassure herself that she is still pretty and desirable by men after she’d been jilted by one, or to simply walk out of an existing relationship. Revenge sex may sometimes take a bizarre twist, depending on motive and individual. While working on my book, Youth, Sex and Wellbeing, I spoke with a lady who confessed to having slept with a boyfriend she was no longer interested in and infected him with a STI. According to her, she’d gone to visit on his insistence, thinking that she would seize the opportunity to inform him of her slight indisposition. But to her annoyance, she caught him escorting another girl off. And though she’d always known she was not his only partner, seeing him that day was just too much and she made up her mind to teach him a lesson. A couple of years back, a National Newspaper published the self confession of a university undergraduate who at the brink of death, afflicted with full blown AIDS, claimed she’d purposely passed on the HIV virus to over 400 men. Her grouse was not with these men but the man who’d given her the virus and she wanted to take her revenge out on the world. If the men thought she was an easy lay at the time, they definitely would have a change of heart after reading her confession! Cindy Meston and David Buss, aptly summarised the various motives in these words. “Every person brings their own individual history to any sexual situation. The reasons why they are having sex, the way they feel about the sex and the consequences of having sex are all very different across individuals no matter what gender they happen to be”. And that includes men too.